You clearly crave my attention, so this one is for you.
I do not know what you want from me.
A sense of approval?
A connection to me in some way?
Some kind of response that makes you feel seen?
I am not sure.
You keep finding new ways to reach me. I keep doing the same thing every time.
Block. Move on. Carry on with my day.
But today I stopped.
because I genuinely wondered whether you need something from me.
Some form of acknowledgement.
A moment of being noticed.
A reaction that confirms, in your mind, that this obsession is worth it.
What I do know is this: my life is far too full to give you the level of attention you seem to need.
I struggle to reply to my actual friends.
I am embarrassingly slow at responding to messages from people I love.
Half the time I am drowning in overdue emails and unanswered WhatsApps.
So the idea that I would somehow carve out emotional space for a stranger hiding behind new numbers is, frankly, unrealistic. I think you have far too much faith in my capacity.
And yes, I would genuinely love to know what it is about me that fascinates you.
Is it how often I change my hair?
My sense of style?
My refusal to settle for less than what I believe God has for me?
Perhaps something about me irritates you, unsettles you, or exposes something in you.
Maybe you are someone I had to let go of, someone unhealthy who has mistaken missing me for obsession.
I do not know.
Because in all honesty, there is nothing particularly extraordinary about me.
Nothing worth this level of fixation.
Certainly nothing that justifies the time and effort you are pouring into someone who is not thinking about you.
And nonetheless, my to-do list is staring at me.
I have presents to wrap.
Laundry to fold.
Videos to film.
Dishes to wash.
A half-finished book waiting on my bedside table.
Friends I owe voice notes to.
Family to call.
A boyfriend to hold.
A life that is moving, growing, stretching forward in ways you are not part of.
I am busy living my life, in all its ordinary beauty. And you are busy watching it from the outside.
Perhaps if you took a break from obsessing over mine, you would realise there is a life waiting for you too.
People to meet.
Things to heal.
Joy to be found somewhere other than in my shadow.
This is the most attention you will get from me.
After this, it goes back to what it has always been.
Block. Move on. Carry on with my day.
Sincerely,
Your favourite obsession.
The Harmony Edit 