The best things about me are really the worst things about me.

For my 21st birthday, someone dear to me got a bunch of people to write messages down in a cute notebook as a gift to me. If you know me, you know this is a gift I truly love because ‘words of affirmation’ is my love language – it is how I feel the most loved. Anyway, as I read through people’s compliments, affirmations and the things they loved the most about me, I saw that there were certain things that a lot of them had in common.

Most people think and say the best things about me is my honesty, authenticity and a heart for justice. This meant a lot to me because I strive to be honest, authentic and well, you know I am always advocating for something or someone.

Even so, over the last year as I pondered about the ‘best’ things about me, I realized that those same things become the worst things about me without God.

My honesty can be cold, harsh and exposing without the wisdom of God. “Truth without love is harsh, love without truth is a lie” – Lisa Bevere. When I don’t pause to have the perspective of Christ, my standard of authenticity can make me impatient with others. I can be quick to condemn some as false when I feel they aren’t being their authentic selves. The reality in most cases is that they may just not feel safe or secure in their own identity, to be authentic and true to who they are. When I refuse to be humble enough to let God who sees the full picture, be the one to pass judgement, my heart for justice hinders me from showing grace and forgiving quickly.

So you see, sometimes the best things about me are the worst… without God. Even the things people celebrate, the things they claim to be my greatest traits can easily become my worst vices. For I am nothing without God.

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